"Why I Don't Watch Pro Hockey" by Beardy Mc Bearderton

Sorry readers (love ya Fab 4!), this is not a beard post. We've had a pretty intense beard week here, so I thought I would discuss another Bushido Blog standby: hockey. Specifically, why I despise pro hockey.

I love hockey. I'm not afraid to admit my love. I'm a sensitive motherfucker. I love to play hockey, I love to watch hockey and I love to talk hockey. I watch boys high school hockey on FSN... constantly. But what some people don't realize is that I do not watch pro hockey. I haven't watched an entire NHL game in over a decade.

Why? It mostly comes down to this guy. Well, not Chris Simon in particular, but he's the best available example. Here's a "professional" who would be most famous for stomping on the back of a guy's leg earlier this season... if he hadn't two-handed a guy across the face last December. His most-recent thirty game suspension was the longest in NHL history.

Thirty-one years ago a similar situation took place in a completely different sport. A young L.A. Lakers player named Kermit Washington absolutely laid out Rudy Tomjanovich with a punch in some after-whistle activities. Until Kermit's fist met Rudy's nose basketball in the 70's was known to be physical to the point that some teams would have a guy on the court just for fights. Sound familiar? Here's where it gets weird. Tomjanovich nearly died from the punch, Washington got twenty-six games, fighting in the NBA was basically unheard of for thirty years, and poor Kermit couldn't catch on with a team for more than a season the rest of his short career.

So whatever happened to Chris Simon after he served his suspension? Well he was recently sought out and traded for by my very own local club the Minnesota Wild. Another new chance with another new team and Barry Melrose mentions it on SportsCenter. They say it "adds toughness" to the Wild.

Let me address the NHL directly. NHL, I may not be the type of fan that you are trying to reach, but I'm telling you right now I will not watch this shit. If I wanted to see small guys mugged by big guys I would play Nintendo Ice Hockey. Is it going to take spinal fluid leaking into someone's mouth before you get the picture? Figure it out. I love your sport, but I won't reward that behavior.